Timely Rain

In the jungles of flaming ego,
May there be cool iceberg of bodhicitta.

On the racetrack of bureaucracy,
May there be the walk of the elephant.

May the sumptuous castle of arrogance
Be destroyed by vajra confidence.

In the garden of gentle sanity,
May you be bombarded by coconuts of wakefulness.

Chogyam Trungpa Rinpochet
[20 October 1977]

atheists don’t believe in god, god doesn’t believe in atheists, i don’t believe in either — what does that make me? (mp3)

i started writing this song in january of this year.  today i saw a bumper sticker that said “god doesn’t believe in atheists”  which made me laugh.  then i came home and finished this song.  here it is.
________

i don’t believe in god, but that don’t stop me from looking.
it’s not that i don’t need god, i just don’t see it that way.
you said you try to be like god — well, that’s a fucked up thing to say,
and i’ll never forget that you put it to me in that way –
when you know my name.

and i don’t believe in love, but that don’t stop me from looking.
it’s not that i don’t need love, i just don’t need these dumb fucking games.
you said i should try to believe in love — well, that’s a foolish thing to say,
when you and i both know that you didn’t really mean it that way –
but now, you know my name.

it’s just a time delayed release regret,
it’s not that you don’t feel bad — you just don’t feel bad yet.
it’s just a time delayed release regret,
it’s not that you didn’t see it — you just couldn’t see it yet.

i  w a s  d r e a m i n g

i  w o k e  u p

]]> http://michelekhazak.com/?feed=rss2&p=333 0 http://michelekhazak.com/?p=321 http://michelekhazak.com/?p=321#comments Thu, 26 Aug 2010 02:51:26 +0000 mk http://michelekhazak.com/?p=321 well, i just got home from rehearsing with the jason parker quartet for the nick drake tribute show at lucid jazz lounge on friday.  i don’t quite have the words to approach the experience of having the opportunity to sing a few of nick drake‘s songs (from the album five leaves left) with this group of musicians.  let’s just say i am humbled with gratitude to have the opportunity to experience this music from this perspective.

or maybe i could put it this way.  a piece of music can be close to your heart like a dear friend, or a family member, or a lover — or an enemy, even.  so far as i can tell it is a sublime privilege to have the opportunity to continue to explore the capacity, intelligence, complexity and resilience of my own heart in this way.

really looking forward to this show.  hope to see you there.

you can find out all the details here : Jason Parker Quartet Nick Drake Tribute

this was the first close to complete take of this new song.  which is really what the majority of songs posted here are – rough scratch tracks of new songs as i write them.

i do now have a couple “better” versions recorded since yesterday, that sound significantly less ragged — but this first one is still my favorite, somehow.

__________

sometimes, it’s a good time.
sometimes, it seems there’s got to be a better time –
but it’s never the right time for losing your mind,

and i’d like to try and say you didn’t even say you didn’t try to tell me –
but you did.

and i’d like to try and say i didn’t know the way i didn’t try to tell you –
but i did (you know i did).

oh, it’s strange to find a multitude of ways to say exactly what and so precisely,
but to still not know quite what it is.

oh yeah, well, so  i read a thing or two — but it’s all laughing gas, to me.
and i guess i just forgot i had a something else to do –
or maybe i just let it slip through.

ain’t it strange the way to to know the word you call it by it’s name,
out loud you say it!

but you still don’t know quite what it is.

faces (the fiddlers three) [mp3]

g o o d m o r n i n g

g o o d a f t e r n o o n

spekulation and the legendary gangsta jazz ensemble is always always always always a raucous freaky fun time, and ahamefule oluo’s new seattle brass ensemble with okanomode performing reverie is one hell of an ensemble that will perform one of the most beautiful pieces of music i have been fortunate enough to hear.  seriously.  just go get your tickets.  now.

saturday, july 31st at the lo fi performance gallery on eastlake.  see you there.

you don’t have to wait for me, you can go or you can stay — and so far as i can see, it don’t make much difference any which way you can — oh, you can — but you don’t know what you can.  but you don’t have to wait for me, you can stay or you can go.  yeah, i know just what i feel and i fear i can’t afford to let it.

well first you started to like it,
then you started to feel something,
but then you started to need it,
because it started to mean something.

i could stumble my way through it,  hope to wake up and find myself someplace new.  i heard you say you saw right through it, but the truth’s not it what you know how to say, but in how you do — that’s how i see you.

someone told you it was coming,
so you were patient and you waited,
but all that waiting started meaning something,
and so you started to hate it again.

oh you thought it would be just fine, what’s the harm just a quick check for tension on the line, but now you’re hooked.
and this is no way to go about these kinds of things, this is the only way to go about these kinds of things.